Conflicts are often a result of misunderstandings
They are also a result of us not speaking to each other, but about one another. Most of us never learned how to express the things that bother us and often we only tend to see our own point of view. Conflicts arise (and persist) because we have been brought up to think that arguments are something negative, that we should suppress our emotions and always be objective. Conflicts can also arise when we have to work together in a team with people we would never have chosen to work with ourselves.
Mediation skills can be learned
In such situations, managers are often expected to ‘put their foot down’. Their own superiors frequently put pressure on them to ‘impose order’ and the conflict parties expect a verdict – one party wants to ‘win’. Such intervention from above can be helpful, but most often it is not. If one of the parties ‘loses’, the conflict will continue to simmer and surface again sooner or later. Therefore it is important for managers to learn in which situations they must act as an authority, and in which situations it is more advisable to act as an intermediary or arbitrator.
With the help of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator – MBTI, we can identify our own “conflict type”. This will help us understand which sorts of conflicts we can avoid in the future and how conflicts can be resolved. It will also help us recognize those situations in which we should consult a third party – a manager or a mediator – in order to resolve arguments and disagreements. |
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Conflicts can’t be avoided entirely
However, they can also escalate to a point at which they significantly impede teamwork and cooperation at the workplace. In small and large companies, much time and effort is wasted on unproductive dissonances and serious arguments. What starts out as a simple misunderstanding begins to spread in circles and other coworkers are drawn into the quarrel. Sometimes, entire departments refuse to speak to each other. The conflict becomes the dominant topic of conversation and work is neglected.
Conflict mediation skills are an important tool for reducing conflicts within the company.
Anyone can train constructive conflict skills
Not only managers and executives - all coworkers can learn how to settle their differences in a constructive way. In individual coaching sessions or in conflict seminars, we will learn to understand our personal conflict issues. We will become familiar with conflict prevention, conflict de-escalation, and conflict mediation methods.
What I can do to help you resolve a conflict...
We can talk about how you can resolve an existing conflict. You can learn how much of a role you play in the creation of conflicts; how you can avoid future conflicts and how you can constructively resolve inevitable conflicts. I offer mediation in escalated conflicts, if the participants are too strongly emotionally involved to focus on solution options. I am not impartial in my role as mediator, but rather partial to all participants. Only when all parties to the conflict feel that their problem is understood, will they be able to engage in dialogue again in order to find a solution that is acceptable to all.
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